summer time

i always feel silly when i blog but i cant sleep and this is the only thing i can do.
things that i didnt do this summer:
1.) didnt get to live with retro
2.) didnt get to hang out with heather
3.) didnt get my Frieda tattoo but damn it august i'm getting it done
4.) didnt save up much money
5.) didnt get my license
6.) didnt finish my book
7.) didnt go to summer school
8.) didnt get an ipod
9.) didnt get a tan
10.) didnt travel
i think thats it. now for what i did do:
1.) did smoke a lot of weed more than i should have
2.) did learn how to drive
3.) did get to spend the best days and nights of my life with a beautiful women that goes by the name of Michelle
4.) did see the new limb 4 Monday's in a row
5.) did get to live and get close to yet another beautiful women that goes by the name of Jessica
6.) did get memories working at Hawaiian BBQ good or bad i couldn't tell ya
7.) finally crashed a bike worst fear come true
8.) did get to live with some messy but amazing ladies and ginormous roaches
9.) did buy devandra tickets for my ladies
10.) finished 3 novels and a book of short stories
so my summer did go as planned but heck what does? i leave in four days and although I'm happy i get to go home I'm sad i have to leave friends.

great movie...

Amelie: Maybe she tries hard to fix other peoples lives?
Dufayel: What about her? Her own messy life? Who'll fix that?
Amelie: It's better to help other people than a garden gnome.

i'd be safe and warm if i was in l.a....

ahh this has been an emotionally draining past few months

I'm tapped out. i just want to be numb for awhile, just put everything on pause. but then i don't want to be one of those people who go there whole lives blindly following whatever is most convenient for them, but at the same time it would be so much simpler. i feel like i have to do everything the hard way? i just cant take the easy way out? i am physically incapable of just letting things go without a fight.

still strange dreams...
i dreamed that i had open heart surgery and my doctor stuck a tube into my heart and poured raw eggs, ketchup, and this stuff kinda like hot Lucas or tajin down the tube. i specifically remember saying "it's like spicy scrambled eggs!".The rest of the dream was me trying to find somewhere to repair the hole and take the tube out. i was afraid i was going to get an infection. no one would help me in fact most of the people I reluctantly told just laughed in my face Michelle retro and Whitney. then my dream switched to lacheles wedding and Shane (don't judge me) from the L word was there. she was trying to set the place settings in the reception and i was trying to get ready because i was a braids maid. every ones dresses were there except for mine. then i remembered it was hanging in my closet back home. Shane helped me look for it but i couldn't find a new one. then she asked me about the tube in my heart. i looked down and my heart tube thing was infected and the band aid covering it was dirty and falling off. she tried to help put it back on then my alarm clock went off. and the whole dream i was trying to eat pizza? that was the third dream that i was eating or attempting to eat pizza?
what the hell is wrong with my head?

snowball fight!!!

sheyanne is not having pleasant dreams.

for three days i've been dreaming about snow...

To see snow in your dream, signifies your inhibitions, repressed/unexpressed emotions and feelings of frigidity. You need to release and express these emotions and inhibitions. You may also be feeling indifferent, alone and neglected.

the first two nights i dreamt i was in a blizzard and i kept getting lost because there was so much snow.

To dream about a blizzard, suggests that you are feeling emotionally cold and frigid. You feel excluded and left out. It may indicate a lack of love and the absence of warmth within your own family circle.

the good news is last night i dreamed that the snow was melting. i was trying to make a snow ball and collect all of the snow around it but it kept melting. i was getting frustrated because i wanted to snow to stay.

If the snow is melting, then it suggests that you are acknowledging and releasing emotions you have repressed. You are overcoming your fears and obstacles

the L word

gold star day!

new years resoultion

so i decided i want to make a new years resolution. well more like goals for which i want to achieve in the year 2009 without feeling guilty if i dont end up doing any
1.) stop complaining so much
2.) be happy for what i have
3.) get to know my Abba a little better
4.) become more socially aware
5.) i want my heart to brake for those who suffer the injustices of the world
6.) become the next Harvey milk of vanguard university
7.) have the courage it takes to do 1-6
8.) finish my book
9.) get into a masters program
10.) go on a road trip