Money, it's a crime. Share it fairly but dont take a slice of my pie

I just sat and calculated how much books were going to be $355. So I basically have to decide what class I want to fail in. shit why cant I be like these vanguardians who parents actually help them and give them more than the occasional $50 bucks! I don't want nice things I just want to be able to go out to eat with my floor, have money for outings of any kind, or buy my fucking text books! I look like a jerk sitting in class because I haven't read. Then people say, oh were one of those lazy people who don't read. I'm so much better then you cause I read! If I could I would read the assigned reading its just that all three years I had to pick and choose what books to buy! I know I should be happy with what I have. I'm just frustrated because my goal seems impossible and I'm feeling overwhelmed with my life. I don't need to go shopping every week. I'm not complaining that i have to eat ramen for lunch and dinner, or that i budget for water, shampoo, and toilet paper, or that I've been using the same foundation for 2 years, or that my piece of shit hand me down computer shuts down every 10 minutes. No, I'm not complaining. I just want to have my fucking text books every semester without getting a stomach ulcer obtaining them!